Harry Potter Pornified

Mark it. pornified. I just invented it. It's when you take the title of a popular movie or book or My Little Ponies episode and make it sound like the name of a porno. Like how Rambo becomes Rambone. Or Star Wars becomes Star Whores. There's Saving Ryan's Privates, The Sperminator and Forest Hump. Or Whore of the Rings... Starring Dildo Baggins. It's easy. It's fun. It's cheap. Just like a porn star.

I know the practice has been around forever, but finally it has a name. This is my legacy to the world. But somehow it's not enough. I've got to push it further. It's time Harry Potter got pornographized. It's simply me doing what I do best: unnecessarily making everything to be about sex. For a bonus, maybe you'll never be able to read the real titles of the books without thinking of the naught-ized version. There's another word I invented. I hope you are aware how lucky you are to know me. Here we go...

Book 1
Harry Poker and the Sorcerer's Bone

Book 2
Harry Poker and the Chamber of Sex

Book 3
Harry Poker and the Women's Prison of Azkaban

Book 4
Harry Poker and the Goblet of Roofies

Book 5
Harry Poker and the Order of the Penis

Book 6
Harry Poker and the Half-Blood Pool Boy

Book 7
Harry Poker and the Deathly Swallows

Aaaaaaaaand... ya welcome. Leave the money on the dresser.