Corporate Greed

The number of billion-dollar corporate mergers - which have practically become a daily occurrence - has always troubled me. I've often joked that in fifteen years, there will simply be 2 companies owning a piece of every dollar you spend. Most likely, these companies will be Wal-Mart and Phillip Morris.

Pepsi, for example, owns Frito-Lay, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell and KFC, among many other blue-collar foodstuff manufacturers. When you throw your 12-year old son a birthday party, just about every dollar is going to PepsiCo. - unless you go with a non-union stripper.

Ted Turner owns the Atlanta Braves. CNN and TBS. That's right; one man controls a piece of America's pastime, America's most powerful news outlet and endless reruns of B movies like Rocky, Goonies and Rocky III.

Yet one of the corporations I'm most fearful of is that of BIC. This company deals in the seemingly unrelated markets of pens, cigarette lighters and disposable shaving razors. This product line may not trouble you, but it downright terrifies me.

Sure; it seems harmless. Pepsi makes billions off of stuffing unhealthy, yet delicious fast food and refreshing beverages down our throats. But at least we're aware of the evil. The BIC corporation is much more sinister. By capitalizing on the pen and lighter markets, BIC has virtually taken control of mankind's most important discoveries. They not only control fire but they somehow managed to corner written communication. What diabolical plans the evil geniuses at BIC have, I cannot fathom. But it can't be good.