My friends have often called me "cynical" or "pessimistic." But that's only because everyone is always out to get you all the time. Oh yeah - they also say I'm "paranoid."
But sometimes even I can make lemonade. When the whole serial dating process started to seem fruitless, I kept at it. If I couldn't find love, there were other benefits to enjoy. No, not those benefits. I'm talking about more practical stuff.
It's no coincidence that when I started thinking about buying a house, I was going on a lot of dates with realtors, brokers, loan officers and and women who worked at credit bureaus.
One time I went out with a doctor. I made up some anecdotes to disguise my true intentions...
"A good friend of mine recently broke up with his girlfriend. So we took him out to cheer him up. He ends up going home with some girl and the next day finds out they have the same last name! It was hysterical! And when he told us about it, he was so nervous and he kept having heart palpitations, clammy hands, shortness of breath. He's also been having trouble staying asleep at night and focusing at work. Do you think he needs more Potassium in his diet? What does Riboflavin do?"
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