Slanguage

The Evolution of Language

war buddy

What it used to mean:

someone with whom you have served military duty, observing and experiencing the horrors of war

What it means now:

someone who has helped you through a night of drunken excess; including - but not limited to - getting blackout drunk, doing something borderline illegal in public and vomiting all over said buddies' bathroom / car / younger sibling - which he or she ends up cleaning

slave wages

What it used to mean:

$0 for any amount of extended work or service rendered

What it means now:

anything less than $100,000 per year

grinding

What it used to mean:

to rub together violenty, causing much friction

What it means now:

to engage in clothes-on sex in public with a stranger, often set to music

"sex on the beach", "buttery nipple", "a slow comfortable screw up against the wall"

What it used to mean:

tasty beverages enjoyed by beautiful women and fruity nancy boys

What it means now:

a kickass first date

douchebag

What it used to mean:

something to do with feminine hygiene that no man wants to know about

What it means now:

a guy she doesn't want to go on a second date with

asshole

What it used to mean:

"The most arrogant, obnoxious, self-centered person on the face of the earth."

What it means now:

her last boyfriend. no change.

"you whore!"

What it used to mean:

"You enjoy and have sex more than I, as a man, am comfortable with."

What it means now:

"Hey buddy."

divorce

What it used to mean

"I know I'll go to hell for eternity if I end my marriage... but could hell be that much worse than this?"

What it means now:

"Remember how I said 'Til death do us part?' Well... you're killing me. I'm out."

marijuana

What it used to mean:

a dangerous, poisonous plant smoked by criminals that will make you go insane and kill people

What it means now:

What about it? You got some?

3-fingered rochester

What it used to mean:

a scam popular with grifters in the 1930s; the caper involved flimflamming some deep pockets out of their hooch dough, offering to throw some scratch to the fuzz if they pinched the goons and then welching on the coppers by flying the coop as soon as the muscle was in the hoosegow. in its heyday, it was considered the bee's knees.

What it means now:

a disgusting sexual act typically performed by streetwalkers and prison inmates. if you have to ask how much it costs, then you can't afford it. or i just made it up. whichever.